10 Signs That You Are Being Stalked

Stalking is one of the most dreaded crimes against women. Do you know the many forms that stalking can take, or and what you can do about each? Read on for expert tips for recognizing and stopping a stalker…

One woman in 12 will be stalked at some time during her life, according to a study conducted by the U.S. Department of Justice.

About 75% of women know their stalker in some way, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS). That’s why so often women don’t believe the situation is potentially dangerous.

State laws also vary in their definition of how much fear and emotional distress a person must cause his or her victim to be legally deemed as a stalker, the BJS reports.

If you experience any the following 10 alarming behaviors on at least two separate occasions, you’re probably being stalked.

Knowing what qualifies as stalking under state and federal law can help you determine if you’re being targeted, as well as what you can do to stop it.

Stalking Sign #1: Lurking Around Your Workplace or Neighborhood
Are you constantly bumping into the same guy after work or at the grocery store?

Does he park next to you in the garage or near you on the street? Running into him every night at the gym does not make him a stalker. But seeing him later at the mall or lurking in your neighborhood when you get home may be cause for concern.

Occasional meetings could be coincidences if you live or work in the same area. But repeated meetings could signal stalking.

Stalking Sign #2: Watching You
A “watcher” follows you from a distance. He or she gathers personal information about you, your friends and family.

They may photograph you, ask your friends about you or collect information from other sources such as public records or online research firms. Some go so far as to hire a private detective to follow you in an attempt to learn every detail of your private life.

If you feel you’re being watched, or you often recognize the same person in a crowd, you may be under the surveillance of a stalker.

Stalking Sign #3: Repeated Phone Calls
Numerous phone calls from someone you aren’t seeing socially on a regular basis can spell danger.

How much is too much? Multiple calls every week from someone you know only casually is likely reason to worry, though calling can take the form of hang-ups or long silences on your voicemail too.

If you know who the person is, tell him or her firmly to stop. If the calls persist, keep a log of the times he or she calls and inform the police.

Stalking Sign #4: Giving Inappropriate Gifts
Some stalkers start out by sending unwanted flowers or gifts.

When their affections are not returned, they may escalate the situation by sending more gifts, including those that are inappropriate or even pornographic.

A typical tactic is to send the gifts to your office. This causes you embarrassment and distress as you’re forced to acknowledge the gifts to your peers, even if only to say you have no idea who sent them.

Some stalkers follow up their gifts by calling to see if you received them.

If you have a company receptionist, ask him or her to screen deliveries for you and refuse those from your suspected stalker. The receptionist also may be able to describe the person who dropped off the package.

Stalking Sign #5: “Rescuing” You
Anyone can experience a flat tire or breakdown on the highway, of course, but many stalkers enjoy playing the hero. So they’ll create situations that require you to be rescued – just when they happen to be passing by.

These incidents can include a suspiciously sudden flat tire, a car that won’t start or running out of gas unexpectedly. The stalker appears and gallantly changes your tire or has a spare gas can that solves your problem.

As tempting as their assistance may be, politely decline and tell the person you’ve already called for help and they’re on their way. Then find a safe place to wait.

Some hero-complex stalkers are even more subtle in their approach.

They may follow you on a rainy day and offer the use of their umbrella. Or they may pick up your keys, then present them to you, saying you must have dropped them.

While it could be just gentlemanly behavior, it’s best to be cautious with anyone you don’t know.

Stalking Sign #6: Manipulating You Into Interacting
Stalkers look for any way to interact with their victims. Some even try to manipulate the object of their stalking into contact by filing a frivolous lawsuit.

These legal tactics can range from the ridiculous to the ruthless. The stalker draws you into his orbit by forcing you to defend yourself.

Other forms of manipulation include threatening to hurt themselves, thereby forcing their victim to intervene. They may talk about suicide or vow to hurt someone else if you don’t return their affections.

If you find yourself being manipulated into behavior that you otherwise wouldn’t condone, you’re likely being stalked and should report the person to the police immediately.

Stalking Sign #7: Using the Internet to Follow You
Some stalkers send emails and texts to their victim daily. Or they’ll leave Facebook, Twitter or Instagram messages and photos.

In some cases, their messages include links to suggestive websites. That’s a big red flag.

Internet stalking is often an extension of physical stalking, though not always. In some cases, the stalker may not even know the real identity of his victim. He may have only seen his or her profile on social media and become obsessed.

This does not make Internet stalking (also called cyber-stalking) acceptable.

Most law enforcement agencies have cyber-crime units, and Internet stalking is treated as seriously as physical stalking.

If you’re being harassed online, report what’s happening to your Internet service provider as well as local law enforcement.

Stalkers often try to isolate their victims from family and friends.

They may share information designed to damage the person’s reputation (regardless of whether or not the information is true), hoping to alienate the victim from those closest to her.

When hurtful or damaging information is made public, your first reaction may be to withdraw. But that’s what your stalker wants. He will then try to move in, becoming your knight in shining armor.

But don’t turn to your stalker for comfort, even if he seems to be the most sympathetic person in your life. Instead, do your best to stay strong and maintain your social circle.

If the situation continues, report him to the police. If it’s someone you don’t know, go directly to the police. Don’t continue contact or communication with a suspected stalker.

A stalker counts on your feeling that his actions are ordinary demonstrations of affection. “If you’d just give him a chance,” he tells you. Resist the urge; he may be dangerous.

What Type Of Man Do You Attract?
Are you attracted to the kind of guy who seems to be Mr. Right, then turns out to be all wrong? The problem may have to do with the messages you’re sending. Take this quiz to learn more about the kinds of men you’re drawing into your life.